STEEL PANTHER: Lead Singers Have Giant Egos Because They Have Such Small Penises

STEEL PANTHER guitarist Satchel and drummer Stix Zadinia talked about a common issue among lead singers in rock and metal bands – LSD. Stix told Toazted (as transcribed by “Yeah, we know about LSD. Little Singer Dick. And what happens is they get these giant egos because they have such small penises. Their egos are in the direct proportion with the tinyness.”

“[Steel Panther singer] Michael Starr is trying to get his p*nis bigger. It takes a long time to do that. You have pumps, but they don’t work. Trust me.”

Satchel chimed in: “You have to plug them into your p*nis for them to work. You can’t just hit the pump.”

They also talked about SLAYER announcing the farewell tour:

Satchel: “Slayer quit?! You can’t just quit!”

Stix: “I’ll tell you this story. We were doing a festival in Belgium. I can’t remember what it was… Graspop… Anyway, our singer was walking backstage for about 300 yards with Tom Araya.

“And watching both of them… Watching Slayer which is hardcore, and watching Steel Panther which is super glammy… Our singer had like a little float in the bounce. And Tom was like BA-BAM, BA-BAM, BA-BAM! It was really good.”

Satchel: “I get it. I mean, we’ve thought about breaking up. But our singer has a really good job at Starbucks and he has insurance paid for him, he gets bonuses at the end of the year. Totally makes enough to pay his share of the rent.”